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So now I am scared again. Yes it happens all the time but now its back again. I had happiness up to a week ago and now this empty feeling is back again and I am sacred. I don't know what I am really running from but it's there and I am trying to ignore it and sometimes I succeed and sometime I don't.  What is it I deal with I don't know and now here I am trying to express these feeling and I hope I could feel a bit better. There are times when I am so low that I just don’t know how to get rid of it and all I want to do is escape it and then there are times I am  so high up that nothing in the world can bother me. I don't know what it is but I am just so fed up of it, fed up of life and everything and I don't know how to deal with it. At these times nothing I do help and nothing at all and I know this is just repeating myself but all I need right now is to cry but tears won't come. Maybe it would help me feel better but something inside me isn't working the way I want it to and its like I am fighting to cry but something is resisting it.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

I found this poem quite a while ago and as soon as I saw it I just had to have it. It is very inspiring for everyone and it was wriiten by Rudyard Kipling, (1865-1936) .